Do you have self-limiting beliefs that hold you back from achieving your full potential? It's likely, as many of us do. These limiting beliefs can be ingrained in us from a lifetime of experiences and interactions. They can be so deeply-rooted and concealed that we may not even realise they are the cause of our actions and behaviours. We may find ourselves constantly behaving in ways that don't align with our goals, but we feel stuck and unsure why things aren't working out for us. Here are some examples of what limiting beliefs might look like. Have you taken the time to reflect on what your own limiting beliefs may be?
Only the best will do
Do you struggle with self-limiting beliefs? Are you constantly demanding and critical of yourself, always striving to achieve 110% and only accepting the best possible performance?
Perhaps you measure your worth by your performance, leading to a constant sense of inadequacy and inferiority, even if you've achieved great success in life. This mindset can drive you to exhaustion as you always feel like there's room for improvement and nothing is ever enough. These limiting beliefs may manifest in thoughts like:
"I must give everything I have" or
"If I don't perform all the time, I'm being lazy."
If you're unsure what are limiting beliefs or how they may be affecting your life, it's important to identify and address them.
The needs of others always come first
Do you constantly find yourself prioritising the needs of others over your own? Does not doing so make you feel guilty? Do you experience a sense of pride when you alleviate the pain of others while bearing negativity yourself? These behaviours might be symptomatic of self-limiting beliefs that lead you to believe that the needs of others always trump yours. This way of thinking can prevent you from acknowledging and addressing your own requirements, resulting in feelings of injustice and resentment. You might secretly wish to receive attention and recognition as well. Consequently, this approach causes you to shoulder an excessive burden, causing exhaustion and frustration in your attempts to serve others. It is important to understand what are limiting beliefs and how they can impact us negatively. Do these sound familiar?
"The most important thing is that others are doing well."
"It's my job to help."
"I have to be available to others."
"I can always manage."
Everyone has to like me
Are you holding back from expressing disagreement to avoid offending others? Do you tend to be overly agreeable in situations where you feel mistreated? Do you often worry about how your decisions will be received by others? These could be signs of self-limiting beliefs that stem from the belief that everyone must like you. This can cause you to shrink yourself and live according to other people's expectations. Constantly striving for approval can lead to losing sight of your own desires. Eventually, you may realise that your choices have been restricted by your limiting beliefs. If you're wondering what are limiting beliefs, it could be thoughts like these that are holding you back:
"The most important thing is that I am liked."
"My value depends on how others see me."
"I'm afraid someone won't like me."
"Better not to say anything, lest someone gets offended."
But I can't
Do you feel that bad luck follows you around and you always expect the worst? Do you compare yourself to others, believing that you have less skills and abilities than the people around you? And even when you do get positive feedback, you find it hard to believe it, and you mostly think about the ulterior motives of the person giving the feedback. The belief of failure makes you deny yourself the chance to succeed, because you probably don't even dare to try, so that your belief doesn't come true. As a result, you avoid challenges and more demanding tasks, which in turn slows down your career progress. Your thoughts might sound something like this:
"The most important thing is to play it safe."
"I'll probably fail."
"Others are more competent and skilful than me."
"It's not even worth trying."
Identifying and acknowledging your limiting beliefs is crucial in gaining control over them. Try to understand the situations that trigger these self-limiting beliefs and how they influence your behaviour.
It's important to approach these beliefs with gentle curiosity instead of self-criticism as they are likely born from a need to cope with challenging circumstances. By listening to them sympathetically and accepting their existence, you can start working on building new, more productive ways of thinking for yourself.
Read more from Laavu: "How to deal with the feeling of inadequacy"
