We all know that person—the one who stays late at the office to perfect those proposal slides, who cannot attend a meeting unless thoroughly prepared and who refuses to settle for anything less than excellence at their customer reviews. While having high standards can lead to excellent results, full-blown perfectionism is definitely not all rainbows and unicorns when it comes to mental health and work performance.
Perfectionism is in fact associated with a host of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and burnout.1 Furthermore, perfectionism might not, contrary to what some people believe, increase work performance.2 Have you ever heard of the perfectionist paralysis? That is when you get so stuck with the nitty-gritty details that you cannot even get started.
The definition in scientific literature goes something like this: perfectionism is a blend of relentless pursuit of flawlessness, unreasonably high personal standards, and an inclination towards overly critical self-evaluations. The purpose of this somewhat academic-sounding definition is to emphasise that perfectionism is not merely about setting high standards, but rather striving for something excessive or unreasonable, accompanied by a destructive tendency to criticise (either oneself or others, depending on the type of perfectionism being discussed).
Perfectionism is not merely about setting high standards, but rather striving for something excessive or unreasonable, accompanied by a destructive tendency to criticise.
There is an ongoing discussion about whether there is such a thing as “healthy" perfectionism3, or whether it is always rooted in a sense of shame and not being good enough. 4 While there is research supporting the fact that striving for excellence does not have to be accompanied with relentless self-criticism5 the distinction might be quite difficult to make, especially to perfectionists themselves.
In the last 30 or so years researchers have witnessed an increase in perfectionism6 (the details of that research shall be left to another blog post, but an interested reader can check the reference list to know more). With the evident increase in perfectionism, it becomes crucial for leaders to understand it as well as have tools to manage it in their organisation. Let’s dive into the how next.
With the evident increase in perfectionism, it becomes crucial for leaders to understand it as well as have tools to manage it.
1. Help a perfectionist set realistic goals
Perfectionists often have a biased way to think about success and failure and struggle with the notion of "good enough”. In particular, when defining a successful outcome is ambiguous, perfectionists may encounter great difficulty in establishing a sustainable benchmark. It may be tempting to let them set the standards initially, as the short-term results might be outstanding. However, in the long run, allowing the perfectionist to solely dictate the desired outcome can backfire, leading to chronic overwork and eventual burnout.
This is precisely why it becomes crucial to assertively guide the goal-setting process. By doing so, the perfectionist can gradually internalise the concept of "good enough" and develop a more realistic approach to goal setting in the future — going above and beyond expectations only on highly selective occasions. In other words, to focus on the 20 percent of tasks that create 80 percent of the value, as the Pareto principle suggests.
2. Do not monitor the performance of a perfectionist too closely (they will probably do it themselves)
Once the goal-setting process has been finalised and the perfectionist is immersed in their work, it becomes particularly wise to steer clear of micromanagement. Perfectionists are usually quick to see flaws and this tendency may be magnified if they think that they have to seek your approval to every little detail. Rather than fixating on nitpicky errors in their work, it is far more important to foster an environment that bolsters their confidence and self-trust.
Furthermore, it is crucial to be mindful of numeric evaluations within your organisation. Perfectionists often hold rigid standards for themselves when it comes to numeric metrics. For instance, a real-life example involves a consultant who believed that a client satisfaction score of 4.6 out of 5 was deemed acceptable, while anything below that was seen as a complete failure. It cannot be assumed that individuals with perfectionistic tendencies will interpret metrics exactly as intended. Hence, it is essential to discuss what the scores signify and most importantly, emphasise that the numbers do not equate to their self-worth.
3. Create psychological safety by embracing mistakes and incompleteness
But what if you do come across a mistake in their work that deserves acknowledgment? Instead of pointing it out directly, consider asking them how they believe they could have improved. More often than not, they will be able to identify the areas where they need to grow.
Moreover, it is crucial to align your organisational culture and norms with regards to mistakes. Fostering a culture of vulnerability, embracing mistakes, and asking "stupid" questions is the antidote for perfectionism. When individuals feel that making mistakes is not met with punishment but rather seen as an opportunity for learning, the concept of perfection becomes obsolete. As a side-effect communication becomes more transparent, trust among team members deepens, and teams work more effectively.
When individuals feel that making mistakes is not met with punishment but rather seen as an opportunity for learning, the concept of perfection becomes obsolete.
Leaders can begin by asking themselves:
- How do we handle mistakes and failure within our team?
- What is our process for learning from these mistakes?
- Is our culture placing more importance on the illusion of perfection rather than personal growth?
The timeless advice of leading by example is also pivotal in this context: when a leader acknowledges their own knowledge gaps and openly communicates about their own mistakes, others will do the same.
4. Accept perfectionism
Anyone who has ever struggled with perfectionism recognises the vicious cycles it can entail. It is incredibly tempting to try to achieve your way out of perfectionism because, in doing so, one might become even more perfect. This paradox can truly make your head spin.
It is incredibly tempting to try to achieve your way out of perfectionism because, in doing so, one might become even more perfect.
The way to break free from that never-ending cycle is both remarkably simple and yet challenging: acceptance. As a leader, you can help others in stepping off the perfectionism treadmill by acknowledging its presence and encouraging acceptance. Accepting perfectionism doesn't mean endorsing excessively high standards or self-criticism. Instead, it involves addressing the root causes of the self-perpetuating cycle and reminding them that the way out is not to try harder, but to try less.
For a perfectionist trying less might be as incomprehensible as asking someone not to breathe, so you might have to do a bit of coaching to help them uncover what it could look like. For example, you can ask them to:
1. Imagine a rating scale for a task and determine what the highest rating stands for.
2. Ask them to define what the rest of the ratings entail.
3. Let them choose the rating that would be ideal in maintaining the benefits (good enough result, happy clients) andminimize the disadvantages (e.g slowing down, burning out).
Inspiration:
- Curran, T. (2023). The perfection trap: The power of good enough in a world that always wants more. Penguin Random House.
- Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House.
References:
- Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Nepon, T., Sherry, S. B., & Smith, M. (2022). The destructiveness and public health significance of socially prescribed perfectionism: A review, analysis, and conceptual extension. Clinical Psychology Review, 93, 102130.
- Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Steed, L. B., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. Journal of Applied Psychology, 103(10), 1121.
- Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A journal of human behavior.
- Greenspon, T. S. (2000). “Healthy perfectionism” is an oxymoron!: Reflections on the psychology of perfectionism and the sociology of science. Journal of Secondary Gifted Education, 11(4), 197-208.
- Gaudreau, P., Schellenberg, B. J., Gareau, A., Kljajic, K., & Manoni-Millar, S. (2022). Because excellencism is more than good enough: On the need to distinguish the pursuit of excellence from the pursuit of perfection. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 122(6), 1117.
- Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological bulletin, 145(4), 410.
